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A little over two years ago, I lost two people I loved: my husband and my friend of thirteen years. I lost them to each other.

If you think that some things are so bad that there’s no returning from them, I am living proof that heartbreak can make you more loving and hopeful, that loss can ultimately be a gift.

They don’t tell you that you lose more than just love in divorce. You lose friends. You lose financial security. You lose your appetite. You lose the idea of who you were. At least I did.

They also don’t tell you what you gain.

I remember the early days. I sent a heartfelt message to mutual friends telling them that I wanted to continue to celebrate birthdays and watch TV shows on Sundays. I held my breath and pressed enter. Crickets. Only one friend wrote a response. I never…